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The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More

"The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever" by Michael Bungay Stanier is a practical guide to coaching that emphasizes the importance of asking powerful questions and listening deeply. The author provides a set of seven essential coaching questions that can be used in a variety of coaching situations to help explore goals and achieve results. 

The book begins by introducing the concept of the coaching habit, which is the idea that leaders and managers can be more effective by adopting a coaching approach to their interactions with employees. The author argues that coaching is not about providing answers or solutions, but rather about helping individuals explore their own thinking and come up with their own solutions to problems. 

The first part of the book provides an overview of the seven essential coaching questions, which are: 

  1. What's on your mind? - This question is designed to open up a conversation and allow the employee to share what is important to them. 

  1. And what else? - This question is designed to help the employee explore their thoughts more deeply and uncover hidden assumptions or ideas. 

  1. What's the real challenge here for you? - This question is designed to help the employee focus on the underlying issue or problem they are facing. 

  1. What do you want? - This question is designed to help the employee articulate their goals and aspirations. 

  1. How can I help? - This question is designed to invite the employee to explore ways in which the coach can support them. 

  1. If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to? - This question is designed to help the employee think about the trade-offs involved in making a decision. 

  1. What was most useful or valuable for you? - This question is designed to help the employee reflect on the coaching session and identify areas for further exploration. 

The second part of the book provides practical guidance on how to use these questions effectively in coaching conversations. The author emphasizes the importance of listening deeply and being curious, and provides a variety of tips and techniques for doing so. 

One of the key strengths of "The Coaching Habit" is its practical focus. The author provides a variety of examples and case studies that illustrate the principles of coaching in action and offers practical tips and techniques for applying these principles in a variety of contexts. 

Another strength of the book is its emphasis on the importance of developing a coaching mindset. The author argues that effective coaching requires a shift in mindset from providing answers to asking questions and provides guidance on how to develop this mindset through practice and reflection. 

Overall, "The Coaching Habit" is an excellent resource for anyone who is interested in developing their coaching skills or becoming a more effective leader or manager. The book is practical, accessible, and provides a clear and concise introduction to the essential principles of coaching. 

The key takeaways from this book 

  1. Start with questions: The key to effective coaching is asking powerful questions. Instead of jumping in with advice or solutions, start by asking open-ended questions that encourage your coachee to think more deeply and creatively about their situation. 

  1. Be curious: Curiosity is a hallmark of great coaches. Instead of assuming you know the answer, approach every coaching conversation with a curious and open mind. Ask questions that help you understand your coachee's perspective and challenge their assumptions. 

  1. Listen actively: Listening is an essential coaching skill. By listening actively and attentively, you can gain a deeper understanding of your coachee's needs, concerns, and aspirations. Practice listening without interrupting and use your body language to show that you're fully present and engaged. 

  1. Focus on the real problem: Often, the problem that your coachee presents is not the real issue. Use questions to dig deeper and help your coachee identify the underlying problem or challenge they're facing. By focusing on the real problem, you can help your coachee find more effective solutions. 

  1. Stay coach-like: As a coach, your role is to facilitate your coachee's thinking, not provide answers or solutions. Resist the temptation to jump in with your own ideas or solutions. Instead, stay coach-like by asking questions that help your coachee generate their own insights and ideas. 

The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More
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