The Confidence Gap

Russ Harris’s The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt is a practical book that challenges traditional ideas about confidence. Instead of waiting to feel confident before taking action, Harris argues that true confidence comes from taking action despite fear and self-doubt. Using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the book provides psychological tools to help readers break free from anxiety, self-doubt, and avoidance behaviours.

Harris defines the "confidence gap" as the space between fear and action. Many people believe they must eliminate fear and self-doubt before they can succeed. However, Harris debunks this myth, explaining that waiting for confidence often leads to procrastination and missed opportunities. Instead, he encourages readers to take action first—confidence will naturally follow.

Key Principles of the Confidence Gap

1. Confidence Comes from Action, Not Feelings
   Many people believe that confidence is a prerequisite for success, but Harris explains that confidence actually grows through experience. Instead of waiting for fear to disappear, we must act despite it. Each step outside our comfort zone builds resilience and self-trust.
2. Fear and Self-Doubt Are Normal
   Harris reassures readers that fear and self-doubt are natural parts of the human experience. The problem is not the presence of fear but how we respond to it. Instead of fighting or avoiding fear, we should acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward anyway.
3. The Role of Psychological Flexibility
   A key concept in ACT is psychological flexibility—the ability to remain open, adaptable, and present despite discomfort. Harris teaches readers how to detach from limiting thoughts and emotions, so they no longer control their actions. This skill is essential for overcoming fear and self-doubt.

Harris provides practical exercises based on ACT principles to help readers develop confidence:

1. Diffusion from Negative Thoughts
   Instead of getting caught up in self-doubt, Harris teaches a technique called "cognitive diffusion," where we learn to observe our thoughts without becoming entangled in them. For example, instead of thinking, I’m not good enough, we can reframe it as I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough, creating distance from self-limiting beliefs.
2. Expansion: Making Room for Discomfort
   Rather than avoiding uncomfortable emotions, Harris encourages readers to "expand" around them—acknowledge them, allow them to exist, and then take action anyway. This prevents fear from dictating behaviour.
3. Clarifying Values and Taking Committed Action
   Instead of being driven by fear, Harris advises people to focus on their values—what truly matters to them. By aligning actions with values, we can stay motivated even when faced with fear or setbacks.

The Confidence Gap is a powerful guide for anyone struggling with self-doubt and fear. Harris teaches that confidence is not about eliminating fear but about developing the courage to act despite it. Through ACT techniques like cognitive diffusion, emotional expansion, and value-based action, readers can break free from avoidance patterns and build lasting self-assurance. Take action first, and confidence will follow.

The key takeaways from this book

Confidence Comes from Action, Not the Other Way Around
Many people wait to feel confident before taking action, but Harris explains that confidence is actually built through action. The more we step outside our comfort zone and face challenges; the more confidence naturally develops.

Fear and Self-Doubt Are Normal – Don’t Let Them Stop You
Instead of trying to eliminate fear and self-doubt, Harris encourages acceptance of these emotions. They are a natural part of life, and the key is to take action despite them rather than waiting for them to disappear.

Your Thoughts Are Not Facts – Learn to Defuse Negative Thinking
Harris teaches the concept of "cognitive diffusion," which means distancing ourselves from self-limiting thoughts. Instead of believing every negative thought (e.g., I'm not good enough), we can recognise it as just a passing mental event rather than a truth.

Make Room for Discomfort Instead of Avoiding It
Avoidance of fear and discomfort only reinforces them. Instead of resisting or suppressing uncomfortable emotions, Harris suggests "expansion"—allowing them to exist without letting them dictate our actions.

Clarify Your Values and Take Committed Action
Confidence is built not by eliminating fear but by focusing on what truly matters. By identifying personal values and taking consistent action aligned with them, we develop deeper fulfilment and lasting self-assurance.