The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over" by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins is a practical guide to building rapport and trust in a variety of situations. Drawing on his experience as an FBI agent, Schafer provides insights into human behaviour and communication that can be applied in business, social, and personal relationships.

The book is divided into four parts, each focusing on a different aspect of building rapport and trust. Part one, "The Friendship Formula," introduces the concept of the "Golden Rule of Friendship," which is to "treat others the way you would like to be treated." Schafer argues that by being genuine, trustworthy, and likable, we can attract and win over others.

Part two, "The Friendship Cycle," provides practical tips for building rapport and trust in a variety of situations, including business networking, social events, and online interactions. Schafer emphasizes the importance of nonverbal communication, such as eye contact and body language, in building rapport and trust.

Part three, "The Friendship Pyramid," explores the different levels of friendship and trust, from casual acquaintances to close friends and family members. Schafer provides insights into how to move from one level to the next by building trust and rapport over time.

Finally, part four, "The Friendship Laboratory," provides practical exercises and activities for building rapport and trust, such as the "mirroring" technique, where you mirror the body language and vocal patterns of the person you are speaking with to build rapport.

Throughout the book, Schafer highlights the importance of being genuine, trustworthy, and likable in building rapport and trust. He provides practical tips for improving our communication skills, such as active listening, finding common ground, and using humour and positive reinforcement.

One of the key takeaways from the book is the importance of nonverbal communication in building rapport and trust. Schafer argues that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal, and that by paying attention to our own body language and that of others, we can build trust and rapport more effectively. He provides practical tips for using body language to convey confidence, trustworthiness, and likability, such as maintaining eye contact, using open body language, and using a calm and confident tone of voice.

Another key takeaway from the book is the importance of finding common ground with others. Schafer argues that we are more likely to build rapport and trust with others when we share common interests, values, and experiences. He provides tips for finding common ground, such as asking open-ended questions, listening actively, and being genuinely interested in the other person's perspective.

Overall, "The Like Switch" is a practical and engaging guide to building rapport and trust in a variety of situations. It provides practical tips and exercises for improving our communication skills and building strong relationships, whether in business, social, or personal contexts. By highlighting the importance of being genuine, trustworthy, and likable, Schafer provides a roadmap for building lasting friendships and relationships.

The key takeaways from this book

1. Nonverbal communication plays a significant role in building rapport and trust, with up to 93% of communication being nonverbal. Paying attention to body language, eye contact, and tone of voice can help build trust and establish a connection with others.
2. Finding common ground is essential to building rapport and trust. By identifying shared interests, values, and experiences, individuals can establish a connection with others more easily.
3. Trust and rapport are built over time, and it requires consistent effort to maintain relationships. Continually showing genuine interest, reliability, and honesty can help build and strengthen relationships.
4. Active listening is crucial to building rapport and trust. This involves paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and summarising what they said to show understanding.
5. People are more likely to trust and like those who demonstrate positive qualities, such as confidence, warmth, and a sense of humour. Being genuine, reliable, and likable can help establish trust and rapport with others.